Guido Don't Need No Stinkin' License Plates!!!!

Duuuuuuuuuuuude!!!! It's pretty KICK ASS bein' Be Dugan!!!! I know what you're thinking: "Duh- Beach House, Bodacious Babes, Bucks and .....you know!!!!!" Well, here's another really cool thing: my personal magnetism draws the rich and famous to me like flies to dookie, Bro!!!!! Like today, I was in Wally World picking up supplies for the upcoming rehearsals of the Love Chorus when I saw this tool dressed up as Guy Fieri!!!! He had that perfectly coiffed spiky peroxide doo, big gold chains and earrings, Dolce and Gabbanas backwards on his neck, stains up and down his arms and leg - the whole kit and kaboodle so to say!!!! I was thinking, "Man that guy has a lot of sack posing as Guido and walking into Wally World!!!! Like Guido would ever go into the world's largest retailer!!"

Well, as it turns oot, this guy was dressed like Guido, because he was Guido!!!! All kinds of "People of Wally World" were going up to him and posing for pictures and getting autographs and such!! He was being pretty cool a'boot it - He seemed almost as happy as I am!!! Lucky Bastard!!! He was there with a group of rich kids who were apparently on some sort of scavenger hunt that involved a set amount of money and a time limit!!!! I know this because I was forced to stand in line behind them while the celebrity took their photos with his iPhone and kept a running count on the amount of time they had left!!! One of the kids looked like a mini Rankin' Roger!!! When Guido spotted me he immediately suggested that we head to the men's room to compare shlong size, but I demurred. I did follow them to the parking lot where the rich teens got into a chauffeur driven Limo bus, and Guido got into a really sweet custom Jeep with gigantic dubs and not a speck o mud to be seen!!! I guess the rich and famous don't have to have license plates, cuz that's how Guido rolls!!!!!!